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Once my sis and I were having soup and she went to hand me the bowl then said “You should be careful it’s REALLY hot” but I work in pizza so I have heat resistance so I grabbed the bowl with both hands, stared her right in the eyes, and said “Fire cannot kill a dragon.

Part 2:
We went to the amusement park and were gonna have some fried Oreos and she bit into hers first.
"Careful l, these are pretty hot" she said, before realizing who she just said that too.
“Oh no, dont you do it-” she said as I stuffed nearly the whole Oreo in my mouth and through the crumbs I yelled

So at a convention recently I went to a panel where the guys there are assholes and they know it and there’s one in particular I hold a grudge against and they announced they had a twitter so I started live tweeting at them with the hashtag #ShutUpGlenn (the dude I hate) and today they retweeted like 3 of them and followed me and now I don’t know what to do about this.

I swear its like the people in my neighborhood have a competition going to see who can do the loudest yardwork the earliest.
“I see you mowed your lawn at 8AM…. Wouldnt it be a shame if someone… Removed a tree at 7.”

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